Why He Cares
by Kitsu3
Summary: Oneshot. Chris muses on some unexpected consequences of his trip to the past. Set before anyone knows of Chris's parentage.


**Title:** Why He Cares

**Author:** kitsu3

**Summary:** Oneshot. Chris muses on some unexpected consequences of his trip to the past. Set before anyone knows of Chris's parentage.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Charmed, or any characters, etc.

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He thought he'd known what he was doing.

It was stupid, really. He'd had it all planned out, accounted for every possibility--he and Bianca had spend hours, days, pouring over the countless possible effects of his actions. And then he'd failed to take into account one of the most important factors of all.

He'd made his every move based on his knowledge of his mother and aunts, and he knew them all very well. He'd forgotten (sort of) that there was one factor that he _didn't _really know: his father.

And really, how much _could _he know Leo? The man had constantly left him high and dry when he was younger and once Chris hit his pre-teens he'd decided that he didn't need the man any more than Leo apparently needed him. He'd still hoped, of course, but then Leo had let his wife die, and that was it--second chances were over and Chris began to hate his father from the bottom of his heart. It didn't help that the man didn't even try to talk to him for two years after that.

Angrily, foolishly, he thought he'd known Leo anyway. Thought that he'd known that Leo would never leave Piper or Wyatt no matter how hard Chris strained the marital bond he'd always known to be stable. Thought that, while suspicious, he would accept Chris into the sisters' lives eventually, replacing him as whitelighter--after all, Leo had never seemed that interested in keeping up relations with the Charmed Ones when Chris was around.

He'd planned on Leo becoming an Elder. He'd planned on Leo's inability to maintain his normal whitelighter duties. He'd even hoped (with a vindictiveness that startled and somewhat shamed him) that Piper would get mad at her husband for never being around once it happened.

The possibility, the mere idea of them getting divorced had never crossed his mind. Particularly since they had done so before Chris had been conceived.

He hadn't thought Leo would blame him--and rightfully so--for his and Piper's divorce, and he'd certainly never anticipating Leo _caring _so damn much. It was infuriating.

Leo had never _cared _about leaving Chris behind. He'd never fought to keep from being taken away from Piper. It was always, "sorry, Chris, the Elders are calling", "sorry, Chris but I need to train Wyatt", "sorry, Chris, but I need to alert the magical community about--" insert some major disaster here. It was infuriating. It seemed like he only even gave _Wyatt _the time of day because Wyatt was the twice-blessed one, the wielder of Excalibur, the future of white magic.

Then Wyatt turned evil (though those weren't his brothers words for what happened) and Leo vanished from the world. Chris didn't think he'd seen his father on earth for more than a week in the past five years.

In Chris's mind, Leo was a complete pacifist with no backbone who belonged Up There, and so he'd been startled when, after a month in Valhalla, the man had come after him, furious and wielding a sword like a pro and practically the antithesis of everything Chris knew him to be. This was someone who cared passionately about his wife and who loathed the fact that his responsibilities as an Elder took him away from his family, an emotion Chris hadn't even known Leo was capable of possessing.

It occurred to him, now, that perhaps Leo had just come to terms with the arrangement long before Chris could remember, and that maybe he'd just put on a weary but accepting facade so that he didn't hurt his sons with constant bitterness.

He knew now that Leo had blamed himself as much--maybe even more--for Piper's death as Chris did. And how do you face someone who blames you for his mother's death when you blame yourself? Not that Wyatt had really done any different, and Leo had paid attention to _him_, but Wyatt was falling apart by that time, beginning to dabble in dark magic and gather a demonic following.

Chris finally understood his father and hated it, because it meant that he couldn't really hate his father any longer. He was bitter--oh yes, so very bitter, and angry that Leo hadn't tried any harder to spend time with his second son, because he knew he could have, even if only a little. But he still understood because his father had always seemed so very tired, and making an effort took an energy the man had never seemed to have.

He understood and hated it, because he didn't hate his father any longer and even though Leo was right in front of him he couldn't say sorry, because this Leo wasn't Chris's father--might never be Chris's father.

All because of Chris.


End file.
